I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Houston, we have a squirter
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize