I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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