dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
