tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
