and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
