I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
