So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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