i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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