Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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