I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
