as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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