my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
