just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
