babies were throwing up all over the place
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
