I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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