did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
