Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
