dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
