i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
