he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
