There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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