I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
