I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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