you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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