We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
