she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
