guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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