I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
