I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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