S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
