I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
