Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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