Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
