I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
