I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
