Im at strip club and am horny
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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