If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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