highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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