Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
