Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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