i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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