I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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