I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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