3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize