I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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