so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
