If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
