Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
