Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i love accidental penises.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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