I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
