Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
