last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
