Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
