Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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