Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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