We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
