I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
