Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
