I'm so fucking centered right now
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
this just has baby written all over it
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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