I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize