Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize