You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
