you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
