You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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