I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
