I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
